So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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