that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
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