Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
