Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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