I swear god or herbie drove my car home
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
