idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
