That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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