I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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