bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
