The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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