Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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