if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
