Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
If I die, sorry about rent.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
