everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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