STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
