Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
