I accidentally burped into my bong.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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