ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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