i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
