Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize