Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I hate all girls vehemently.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
