Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize