dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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