I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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