I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
