Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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