dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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