saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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