these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
