I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize