So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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