I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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