he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
