remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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