Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
