You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
