He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
