No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
