hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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