next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
