I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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