Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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