She is in my trunk
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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