how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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