i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
