i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
