she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I think your dad took our porno
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
