Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
