3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
