Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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