You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Randomize
