How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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