oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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