I'm so fucking centered right now
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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