bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
