she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
