Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
