My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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