What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just had sex on a roof
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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