Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
