smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize