I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
