thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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