have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
