just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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