What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
