i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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