he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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