I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
