Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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