Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
