is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize